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Perfeker Tag is a mission in the mod.

Objectives[]

  • Drive Kane's car to the scrapyard
  • Get in the Excavator
  • Crush Kane's car

Script[]

Neil walks into Lis' garage and finds her & Kane brewing moonshine together

Neil: Well, nice to see some work going on.

Lis: Neil, dude, we gonna do good on this? Like, make a bunch of money and stuff?

Neil: We should. I mean, we already put those rednecks who do the moonshine out of business, yeah? We should do good on this, you know, weeding out the competition and all.

Kane: Neil, want a sample?

Neil: Sure.

Kane walks over to Neil and gives him a bottle of moonshine. Neil drinks the moonshine as Kane talks

Kane: Anyway, uh, when you're done with that, I got a favor to ask of you-

Neil ends up spitting up the moonshine and gives the bottle back to Kane

Neil: Goddamn, what is this, rubbing alcohol?

Lis: It's that bad?

Neil: Yeah...I mean no...fuck it, we can throw in some flavors later. *Spits on the floor* Kane, whad'ya got for me?

Kane: Take my car and get it crushed.

Neil: What, the Vulcar?

Kane: Yeah, Lis and I were having a good 'ol time and it turns out we found out that you can't survive after being stabbed fifty times in the stomach with a kitchen knife-

Lis: It was a perfect day!

Kane: Perfect day!

Neil: Yeah, okay Lou Reed, so you want me to crush your car with Larry in it?

Kane: Yeah. We stuffed him in the trunk, so it's just an easy drive from here to the scrapyard.

Neil: I can't dump it in the lake?

Lis: No, my dad says there's already cops there dealing with another sunken car.

Neil: Oh...okay. Lemme see your keys.

Kane hands Neil his keys

Kane: Thanks Neil, I mean, me and my insurance thank you!

Neil walks out of the garage

The player gains control of Neil. The player is instructed to drive Kane's car to the scrapyard

The player drives Kane's car to the scrapyard. The player is then instructed to get into a nearby excavator

The player gets into an excavator. The player is then instructed to crush Kane's car with the excavator. During the short trip there, Neil mutters to himself

Neil: Looks simple enough, I just hope I don't blow myself up with this.

Once the player gets close enough to the car, a cutscene occurs

Neil drives the excavator up to the car and crushes it with the excavator's shovel

Mission passed. Neil automatically calls Lis

Neil: Hey Lis, I got rid of your nazi problem and tell Kane I got rid of his car.

Lis: I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that. Hey, yeah, come back around soon, we're putting some flavoring to it, you might be ready to sell it by the time you get here.

Neil: What flavors?

Lis: We'll surprise you.

Lis hangs up

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